Dyson

So ya know this guy? Dyson, I can't remember his first name. Anyway this guy came out with a "revolutionary" vacuum. He was really upset that his vacuum would lose suction so he developed this great new one that keeps sucking till the end.

Well now he has created a new fan cause traditional fans that we have had since like forever clearly needed changing. He didn't like the fact that they made too much noise and that the stream of air wasn't consistent.

Anyway, all I think of when I see this guy is that he is really concerned with sucking and blowing. I'm just saying.

Is it just me?

Or do other people not understand why most women that are approaching their wedding date lose a ton of weight and then gain it back after they are hitched? I understand you want to look your best on your big day but don't you also want to look like yourself? I would be kind of upset if I looked back at my wedding pictures and did feel like I was looking at me.

I am totally in support of shedding some of the happy weight you might have gained during the courtship but getting bone-jutting-skinny is just plain stupid. And I'm sticking with that.

It really bothers me

that no one has a clue what happened to Amelia Earhart. No one can just disappear someone knows and they are clearly a really really good secret keeper.

That's it. Random thought.

Car Dealerships

I am currently sitting in my car dealership waiting for my car to be finished. Unfortunately, because my car is still under warranty I need to get oil changes and services done at the dealership. I say unfortunately because they always charge way more to do a simple oil change then any other place.

Anyway...as I am sitting in the waiting room (they are nice enough to provide free wi-fi, coffee, and usually Food Network on the TV) many of the car salesmen have walked from the front. I've noticed that almost all of these salesmen look the same. Why is that? Is there a requirement that you must be a white, slightly overweight, middle aged man to sell cars? And have a creepy smile that says "You're a woman what do you know so I'm going to sell you a car for the highest price possible."

They're probably wondering why the chick with the computer keeps glaring at them when they are simply just walking to the bathroom.

Can we have it all?

I like to consider myself an optimist. I actually do see the glass half full and a silver lining on even the darkest of dark clouds. But I've been wondering lately if we can have it all?

I currently live in CO, but I grew up in NY and that is where all my family still is. I am lucky enough to have an awesome family that I love and actually want to spend time with. I moved here for a change, to experience something/some place different, and plus I had never been to CO until I drove across the boarder with all my belongings packed in my car. In August it will be 3 years that I have lived here. Although, I have a pretty decent job (some days are better than others, but isn't that every job?) and have amazing friends, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel the ache of missing my family. I keep thinking that I could easily move closer to my family, but then I would be leaving everything and everyone I have here.

So I keep wondering if its possible to have a great job, amazing friends, and family close by? Am I asking too much? Is this a selfish request? Do I have to sacrifice one of these things to have the others?

The best man in the world

My dad has this saying that he declares on random occasions. It pops up a lot when we have been in the middle of a family vacation or during holiday dinners or even when we are just sitting around chatting with each other. He will look at all of us and say "who's living better than me?"

I was thinking of this yesterday and it dawned on me (more like smacked me across the face) that he is dead serious when he says this. Not that I thought he was lying or trying to make a joke, I just never honestly put much thought to it. When he says this he honestly thinks that no one else in the entire world has it better than himself at that very moment.

I am trying to adopt this mentality. Although it's extremely hard since we are constantly told to want more and that we deserve more. No one tells you that the simple things in life are the best.

The real world is unrealistic

When you ask a 5-year old what they want to be when they grow up none of them every say they dream to be a corporate slave working for the man. I know for certain I did not expect to come to an office building every day and sit at a desk surrounded by short fake walls. My 5-year old self is throwing a bitch of a hissy fit. Everyday she doesn't understand why we wake up when we're still tired, come to a place with no windows, no nap time, no recess, where we get bossed around (sometimes yelled at, which totally makes us wanna cry), and we do this on repeat for 5 days in a row. I feel bad for her because I can't explain it. I had big dreams of rescuing Shamu when I was younger, what happened to that? Now the biggest adventure I take during the workday is attempting to drink the coffee, aka: tar, they brew here. So so sad.

Tuesday, I despise you

I have a theory that there is one too many days in the work week, and that extra day is called Tuesday. It is a complete waste of a day and just means I have to be at work one day more than I want. Isn't four days enough? Now some might argue with me that Monday is the worst day, but they would be so very wrong and here's why.

Monday is the first day back to work after two days of freedom so its expected to be shitty. Its the reason the weekend is over, it forces you out of your comfy bed at an hour you would not normally see if you had the choice.

Wednesday is "hump day." You can celebrate that you have made it over the hump of the week and are in the home stretch.

Thursday is the beginning of the end. You are so close to Friday you can touch it. You make it through Thursday and you feel good. The best TV is on Thursday night. Thursday is the best weekday night to go out for a drink.

Friday is a wash. If you have not completed what you needed to get done by Friday you might as well wait till Monday. People sneak out of work early to get a jump start on the weekend. In Australia they call this P.O.E.T.S day (Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday).

So you see Tuesday is pointless and should be eliminated.

Routine

I hate routine and this revaluation just hit me, which is a little absurd to me. I was just reading an article about why people love travel and why travel is associated with happiness for a lot of people. It hit me that I am continually searching for the next job or next move because I genuinely like change. It drives me slightly crazy that my job doesn't offer me enough of this. Don't get me wrong there is change in my job, but the annoying change. For example, my boss or client changes their mind on how they want something done after I just spent 2 days doing it the way they originally told me to do it. That is definitely not the change I'm looking for. I want routine breaking change. I don't want to wake up at the same time anymore. The other thing about routine that kills me is the lack of freedom I feel when I'm forced into a routine.

I understand that some people freak out without routine and I appreciate those people, I am just not one of them. I feel more like myself when I'm free to attack each day in my own way. Now I just have to figure out how to live freely without routine, without someone else dictating my day to me, and make money too. Cause as much as I love my car its not really where I want to wake up every morning.

Umm I don't want to be stuck in a room

"When God shuts a door--the Devil tempts us with an open window"

On the way to work one morning I noticed this sign on the church by my house. It really disturbs me. I don't want to be stuck in a room. What if the door that God shuts is the bathroom door? I sure as shit (no pun intended) don't want to be stuck in a stupid bathroom for the rest of my life. I get claustrophobic and what if the bathroom I'm stuck in doesn't have a tub, where am I supposed to sleep? Also, I need to eat at least every two hours I'm a fat kid at heart, I love food. I ask you if God loves me why oh why would he want to separate me from one of my loves?

I heart my camera

I bought a Canon Rebel EOS T1i this weekend and I'm in love with it. Seriously in love with it. I had a dream about it last night. I have yet to figure out all the wonderfulness it can do, but I already know it's pretty awesome. I realize talking about my digital camera makes me a full on geeky tool but I don't care. I heart you camera.

TV you have failed me

It used to be safe to turn on the TV. The worst reality show you could accidentally end up watching (and hating yourself for it later) would be Survivor or the Bachelor. But things have changed thanks to MTV. Because of some "genius" at MTV the world now knows of the horror that is the Jersey Shore and those lovely individuals that flock to it during the summer time. For those living on the East Coast the Jersey Shore is that creepy perverted uncle that you purposely don't invite to social occasions because you want no one you know to know you are in any way associated to him.

Well now its gotten worse, oh yea it gets worse than Jersey Shore, its called Cape Cod in the summer infested with Boston "Mass-holes." The people at TruTV are putting a show together called "Wicked Summah." Here are a few reasons to hate this show and avoid it at all costs:

1. The accent is horrible, after you hear wicked used every other word in a sentence you'll wish you were deaf.

2. The clothes are horrendous. Grown men wearing pink J.Crew pants with lobsters on them, enough said.

3. Their belief that the Red Sox are gods and the religious-cult like way in which they follow them.

4. How every guy believes they are god's gift to women and you should feel honored to have them invade your personal space and grope you uninvited.

5. How said guy gets completely pissed off and wants to fight you when you tell them you'd rather lick a NYC sidewalk then spend two more seconds around them.

6. Did I mention the accent?

Dear Dunkin Donuts

Thank you so much for being in Terminal A in the Atlanta airport. As I walked toward the sign at 5:30am I let out a slight whimper of joy at seeing your glowing letters. Exhaustion was about to take hold of me, but you saved me. I also want to congratulate you on adding delicious food to your menu. The egg and cheese on an English Muffin and hash browns were excellent sidekicks to my perfectly brewed hazelnut coffee. I love you.

My Morning Drive

And this was the car that was in front of me this morning. I don't really know what else to say except "I'm on the hunt I'm after you, Smell like I sound I'm lost in a crowd. And I'm hungry like a wolf"

Sooooo good

There is a place in my hometown called Nekos, its makes the absolute best chocolate and candy ever. They carry on the tradition of making the candy the old fashioned way with molds that are over a 100 years old. Now that I live out of state my mom (best mom ever) sends me a package every Easter with Nekos jelly beans and a chocolate bunny. I only like the jelly beans from Nekos and I scarf those puppies down so fast I usually make myself sick, but its totally worth it. The bunny on the other hand I savor. The chocolate is so delicious it is like sex in your mouth. Not just any sex, really really good sex. The kind of sex where its all about you, where you take all and give very little, that kind of sex. You know what I'm talking about.

Why I love John Butler

I have been lucky enough to see John Butler perform his song Ocean twice. As a musician he has always amazed me but witnessing him captivate an audience for 10 mins or more just by playing a guitar and stomp box is truly unbelievable.